13 Groan-Worthy Jokes

I spend lots of time trolling the internet for bad jokes. Its something I enjoy doing entirely too much. It’s gotten to the point where my friends will message me out of the blue just to ask me for a bad joke because they need a snicker. Either the jokes are better than I think or all my friends have horrible senses of humor.

Anyways, here are my favorite 13 Groan-Worthy Jokes (that are totally safe for work). Some of them I’ve known for so long and retold so many times that I forgot where I located them. Some of them are just everywhere to the point its impossible to find the original source. I’ve sourced when I can.

But just to be on the safe side: None of these are mine.


13 Groan-Worthy Jokes

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?

A: It was soda pressing.

Q: What is a physicist’s favorite food?

A: Fission chips  (source: laffgaff.com)

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?

A: To the Ba-a-a-a-hamas (source: funology.com)

Q. Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

A: Because the “P” is silent. (source: eternallyfunny.com)

Q: What do you call Santa’s elves?

A: Subordinate Clauses (source: blog.hubspot.com)

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta! (source: Jokes4us.com)

Q: Why do ghosts like elevators?

A: Because they lift their spirits.

Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

A: He was looking for Pooh! (source: kidsactivitiesblog.com)

Q: Why don’t lobsters share?

A: Because they’re shellfish!

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? 

A: They make up everything! (source: amp.businessinsider.com)

Q: Why do so many people hate bad jokes?

A: Because they’re laughtose intolerant.

Q: Why are mushrooms hits at parties?

A: Because they’re fun-guys.

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A: A dino-snore


Yes, my sense of humor is very similar to my 8-year-old’s. It’s very convenient.

What about you? What’s your favorite (clean) joke?

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